A Metaphorical Perspective
Has anyone else been having those random spurts of anxiety where you feel like you're crawling out of your skin and you can’t seem to release a certain thought or emotion?
Lately, I’ve noticed that I go through periods of anxiety, which often lead to intrusive negative thoughts. I’ve been working with my therapist and on my own to remind myself that I can only control certain things, like how I react and when I choose to do something. I’m also trying not to suppress or dwell on my feelings, because when I do, those thoughts and emotions tend to come back even stronger. Sometimes, it feels like my energy is being pulled in many directions, especially when negative thoughts seem to take over. It can feel almost physical, like there’s an itch I can’t scratch or a need to shake something off. This feeling can be really uncomfortable and even scary, which makes it tempting to push it away. But I’ve learned that suppressing these feelings doesn’t make them disappear; they usually return later. That’s why it’s important to let yourself truly feel your emotions, even if it’s confusing or uncomfortable. Allowing yourself to experience these feelings can help you understand why you’re feeling a certain way. Today, my therapist shared a helpful metaphor that gave me a new perspective on what I’ve been trying to do.
This metaphor comes from the ACT modality.
Read this as if the uninvited person is an unwanted feeling or thought that is present in your life or that comes up when you are having anxiety. The uninvited person who keeps knocking at the door represents us suppressing our feelings; they continue to appear because we’re not processing the emotions/thoughts.
When we name the feeling and invite it in, we let ourselves ride the wave of that emotion. It may be uncomfortable, but there is a saying that “to get comfortable we must live through the uncomfortable first”. Once the feeling flows through us, it will get bored and ultimately serve its purpose.
"Imagine you're hosting a party, having a great night, and then suddenly there's a knock at the door.
You know exactly who it is: an uninvited guest.
Maybe you don't want to answer the door. So you try to ignore the knocking and keep enjoying your party. But the knocking doesn't stop. In fact, it seems to get louder and more distracting. The harder you try to pretend it's not there, the more impossible it becomes to focus on anything else.
Eventually, you decide to open the door and let them in.
The uninvited guest walks in. Now you have a choice. You could spend the entire party following them around, entertaining them, or worrying about what they're doing. Or, you could acknowledge that they're there and then return your attention to the people and moments that matter most to you.
The guest might wander around for a while. They may stay longer than you'd like. But you don't have to entertain them or make them the center of your evening. They can simply exist in the background while you continue living the life you want to live. Eventually, this person will have served their purpose, get bored, and leave.
Our anxious thoughts, worries, and uncomfortable emotions are a lot like that uninvited guest. The more we try to push them away, ignore them, or force them to leave, the more persistent and loud they often become because they want to be let in. But when we allow them to be there without fighting them and simply accept their presence, they often become less demanding of our attention and will eventually 'serve their purpose, get bored, and leave'.
You don't have to invite your anxious thoughts to take over the party. You don't have to believe everything they say or let them make your decisions. Instead, you can notice them, acknowledge that they're here, and choose to keep doing what matters to you, knowing that they will eventually leave.
Sometimes those thoughts will stay for a short time, and sometimes they'll stick around longer than you'd like. Either way, they don't have to run the party- you do."
I hope that anyone who is struggling with intrusive or anxious thoughts reads through this thoroughly and is able to gain a new perspective that can be helpful for future triggers or situations.
